Last night, I went to sleep thinking about why I need God. Is He really necessary for everyday life?
About eight months ago, I started working for a company where I am the only Christian. (Well, a few of the Japanese staff went to a Lutheran high school, but are not Christians. So, I guess they know a little about my religion, but not much.) It’s my first time to have close relationships with non-Christians, and at first, I didn’t really know how to act. Just be normal is what I settled on. So, I “gambare-ed” and my co-workers accepted me, and of course they tease me, but they don’t poke unnecessary fun at me.
At any rate, I could see how they live their lives without any outside help, and occasionally I think about why I need God. What’s so different about my life with God in it, than theirs without?
And I can’t answer it. I don’t know! I don’t see that my coworkers can really see how God has changed my life, given me abundant life, except that I go to church on Sundays! Well, I try to be nice and have the Fruits of the Spirit (Galations 5:22), but my coworkers also have very good qualities. How am I different?
Today in church, Yoji-sensei talked about the kingdom of God, and something similar to what I have been thinking about. Luke 17:20-21: “Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, `The kingdom of God does not come with careful observation, nor will people say, “Here it is,” or “There it is,” because the kingdom of God is within you.`”
God’s life is within me, so I am shining for the glory of God. (I love being able to understand the Japanese worship songs!)
Why do I feel like I have to do something so the people will see that I am different? Why is there something wrong with simply letting my relationship with God take it’s course, and see what comes out of it? Why do I always have to be doing something?