seriously, the best email I’ve gotten in a long time

term of endearment ~

obligatory acknowledgment of time since last communicade. onimonipoetic outburst. excited statement. question. question. question. reference to shared memory that then results in related question.

random observation paired with subtly profound ditzy reflection.

necessary segway to turn focus on me without appearing selfish. qualified statement. negative statement. stressed conjunction followed immediately by overly optimistic statement. boring statement for balance. loosely connected interesting fact. immediate universal life frustration statement coupled with tag question. emotocon.

abrupt non-sequitur, childish nickname, statement laced with subtle hint of impending time constraint.

final obligatory question.

heartfelt wish for future correspondence.

closing,
amusing nickname using the structure Mc____pants.